My musical blog has been interrupted by my life. The next song I was going to talk about was One Slip by Pink Floyd, a beautiful song live and filled with exactly all the emotions that flood through you when you are on the brink of crossing that line from faithful to unfaithful. And it is a very honest and moving collection of feelings ranging from lust to love and from temptation to guilt. But you know what? I don't feel any of the negative emotions from those experiences anymore. For me it's more of a lifetime journey of sharing joy and love that I have in my heart. It pours out like a flood gate sometimes, and sloshes over onto unsuspecting men, but so far, if I'm really honest with myself. The good feelings, camaraderie and love that I've gotten far outweigh any fears that seep into my mind and threaten to damn up my emotions. So since my intentions are pure and honest, and loving, I can find nothing but reaffirmation to discuss on the song.
And there is much better news to share this week.
Last night at 6:12 pm, in Chicago, Ill, an 8 pound addition to my family finally arrived! Right on time, actually about a day early, and on a full moon. How appropriate for our family. :D His name is Samuel Raymond, and he has a ROCKIN big brother all of 5, almost 6, named Timmy. And I know Timmy will be a great big brother. I can't wait to make it down there to meet Samuel and talk to Timmy about what it means to be a big brother, and see how his eyes will light up at all the cool things he knows that he can teach Samuel. I really want to start calling him Sammy already. I actually feel a little bit sorry for his parents, because with me as a grandma, they are likely to get away with a lot more than mom and dad would like. But hey, I'm poor, so my influence will probably be only once or twice a year. Can't do that much damage, right? hehehe
One more small human to spoil, love, teach, love some more, and help grow into a man that not only believes in himself but will help others believe in themselves. One more human to not fill with our own fears and prejudices. One more human to show what it means to love and care for others and want their happiness over our own. One more human to hold up to the light and say, "You are here now! You are aware! You can be anything you choose, so explore everything so you can choose what makes you happy."
That's the real journey of life, people. Finding something or someone that makes you happy, and makes you believe in yourself when even you can't anymore, takes your weight when you can't hold yourself up, and understands you even when you are in chaos. The only thing I know is I never would have found that kind of happiness without that One Slip. Mistakes can sometimes be the exact right thing to do. Knowing yourself well enough to know what you want, and loving yourself enough to be able to love another is true success in life.
Be happy today, because you can be. Feel joy to be alive because it is joyous to be aware. Even if you are reading this right now and feeling like your life is over, and your hopes are destroyed, know that that is just a beginning of rebuilding. Just like Sammy is just starting out today, opening his eyes again after a few hours sleep, wanting to be fed, changed and loved. These are the basic desires we will have all our lives.
Cheers to Sammy! (and Timmy) and to my grown godson Dono and my much smaller godson Frederick.
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