Sunday, January 18, 2015

Benign!! My New Favorite Word!

I think most of you out there reading this know me personally but just in case or in case you want some real scientific information on the tumor that First Daughter has, and is having removed on Thursday, here are some links:, and one from First Son’s Wife, Only Daughter-In-Law:  The surgeon, one of the best in the nation, said it was a giant cell tumor.  As interesting as both of these links were to us, as we stumbled around trying to find our feet after the first doctor said, “tumor” all I could really do last week is worry that my baby had cancer.

Now I understand for any of you that have experienced the real horror of a malignant tumor that this might seem dramatic or attention getting hype, but it’s not.  It’s just a mother finally getting to relax and breathe and think about what her daughter has had to experience.  The pain, the worry the fear, can be overwhelming.  All of it, (except the pain) is gone now, and I was left yesterday and the day before with an incredibly huge weight lifted off my shoulders and an equally huge desire to just sleep.

I’m taking this opportunity to thank everyone that reached out to us during the last week, both publicly on FaceBook, or in person at her hospital room, over the phone and via text, and especially to the ones that felt it necessary, however inconvenient to their own lives, to reach out in private.  Thank you!  Thank you so much for caring about her, about us.  About what we were going through.  We heard from so many people who we have not heard from in years.  It was quite amazing.

And on the other hand quite sad.  That it took a possible tragedy to bring some people back into our lives.  Even if it was only briefly for that moment in time.  I am thankful for it.  Being so far away from so many of you, without that love and support, I know it would have been a much harder week.

And while it was very necessary to talk about what was going on with her and fill everyone in, some days many times a day, I must say, thank you to Mr. Hopeful for being the most helpful to me personally, in trying to distract me from it all, and just breathe and celebrate (finally) the good result and our good fortune.  It really is too bad that you are so far away, but I felt you here.  I felt all of you here as you hoped and prayed with me.

And yes I prayed,  to my parents God, to my higher powers who are old Gods; and I prayed to my departed family and friends to push her back if she got too close to the light or them.  To just not let her into heaven.  Somehow seeing my parents faces, and a recently departed friend, with their arms crossed standing determined in my mind, gave me strength.  I know it sounds silly, but I believe in something after. Don’t know what, don’t even like calling it heaven, but there is something, and my daughter is too young to go there!

So, here’s to BENIGN!  And may all your problems disappear as quickly as this one is for us.