Sunday, February 28, 2016

After the Election, Canada or Mexico?

Does it bother anyone else that this presidential election is so full of so many scary candidates? I've been an active voter for over thirty years now and I'm used to one candidate in each election that the press and the public really can latch onto and make fun of.  So much so that they drop out before it gets even close to debates, or shortly after the first round.  And we are left with two real front runners, one democrat and one republican.  In some eventful years, an independent actually got some ground but only to drop out to give the democrat more votes.  I'm not going to name names in this blog because I don't want a lot of 'mansplaining' or hateful comments because I might think your candidate is full of shit. 

But have you noticed that in the last few elections how the scope of candidates has changed?  And it's not just this election but somehow this elections seems worse.  Maybe it's because the country is so visibaly split and the scary candidates have not only followers but a voice that is changing minds.  Changing minds, means changing votes.  And throwing up your hands and not voting because you like no one, is voting.  If you do that, then your vote goes missing, and your missing vote might have been all the only good candidate needed to win.  It seems now that if you have a voice and you are speaking for the people and trying to give them what they want you are the odd candidate.  You are the one the press makes fun of and the evil politicians try to discredit with scary terms or out right lies. 

Our country is run by big business and we have voted that in, by voting for candidates who are funded by those big businesses.  It's not always our faults, before the internet we had no way of knowing which candidates were in the pockets of Big Oil, or Big Drugs, Big War, or Big Money (cue RUSH).  We look the other way and cross our fingers and pull the lever, or draw a line,  and cast our vote.  But we don't really know what we voted in until we see the results of a term of four years.   I've watched a lot of what I can only hope were good men, with good ideas, get elected and then have everything they ran on blocked by a bought out senate and house.  Who block every good idea and never let that good man get anything done.  Well, unless it has to do with Big Oil, Big Drugs, Big Money or Big War.  That changes a man.  It destroys his positive outlook that he can make a change.  And he spends the rest of his term in a battle of wits and words.  Bogged down by so much red tape that nothing can be done. 

Look, I'm sure we can agree on one thing this election.  Everyone wants a change.  Well everyone except the 1%.  They want to keep everything like it is if not worse.  They want a new Dark Ages where we are slaves and pacified.  Why do you think a drug like marijuana is finally becoming legal in so many states?  To keep the slaves passive.  Perhaps if that doesn't work a new Spanish Inquisition will be in order.  So that the church police can come into your home without a warrant and punish you for your lifestyle.  For reading those banned books, or smoking those banned plants that are more than medicine, or loving the wrong sex.  E Pluribus Unum does not mean In God We Trust.  It means Out of many, One.  Which was the original motto of the United States of America.  Our founding fathers were adamant about keeping church and state separate and they said some pretty smart things about a 'world bank' that we ignored too. 

But all of this can be fixed.  All of it.  But it wont be easy.  And it wont come from Washington.  Not at first.  At first its going to have to come from us.  From the people.  If we want our middle class back, if we really want a nation that is all about sending us your tired and poor and huddled masses, then we better start providing for them, and welcoming them even if they've never heard of nor want to believe in, our upstart religon of only 2000 years.   BTW, if we don't want to do this maybe we should change the poem on the Statue of Liberty to not say these iconic words.  Maybe we will have to change it to You Will Be Assimulated, Resistance is Futile.  Like we did with the Native Indians when we came and conquored this country.  It's unfortunate that we came from so many generations of submissive behavior that we coudln't change this warlike attitude and live in peace with the natives, but that's an mistake I hoped we wouldn't repeat....History repeats.  Are we ready to be the next natives on this soil to be taken over by a monster?  Whos ideas are as outdated as genecide.  I think to change we have to admit our failures and learn from them and not repeat our bloody past, but to move forward with kindness and love and use our great abilities at creating things and building them to make a new great contry.  One that the world wantd to emulate not make fun of. 

But just to remind you what we once believed and how we tried to build a great nation of change against controled religion, unfair taxes and monarchy ruling over slaves, a dream of equality for all men (we're still working on the woman part, but its better than it was). Here is a reminder of what the plaque near the statue of liberty actually says:
New Colossus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, 
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisioned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles.  From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips.  "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearing to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. 
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, 
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" 
olden door!"

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Sunday Church!...Wait?....What?!

That's right.  I went to church today and I didn't explode or set the place on fire.  And I had I good time.  I know, I know what you're thinking.  YOU?!  But YOU don't DO church.  And that's true.  But today I did.  For Flower Girl turned two on Friday and this morning was her deidcation at her families church.  And they invited me to join their very large family in celebrating this milestone in their daughter's life, and well, I do love that little one so much, so I said yes.  Of course.  It was a beautiful ceremony and a sermon that I felt a slight connection with.  It was about emotional maturity in the community of your life.  Of course it was directed mainly at your commuity of your church, but I could see the deeper meaning that was being told to me.  About emotional maturity coming from a community of others and never when you lock yourself away.  I think I'm being given a message of 'its time to get out there and meet some people'. 

If you know me you know that's not easy for me.  I'd much rather just stay at home or talk on line to my friends I already know and love.  And after spending seven hours with them all, I'm very comfortable and happy to be back home alone.  It is a real danger being single for a very long time.  You start to really love the freedom and the silence.  The choices are all mine to make for good or ill.  And I can come and go as I wish, never having to stay at a gathering longer because my husband does.  Or not getting to go because he doesn't.  And while a part of me feels ready again after Mr. Charisma, to meet someone and perhaps try again as a couple or as companigns, just as large a part of me feels great just the way things are. 

I know that's lazy, but it's true.  When I look back at all my romances, I can honestly say, the one thing they had in common was that I was happy before I met each of them.  Or thought I was.  Yes, of course with the blush of a new love I was instantly a different kind of happy once I met them, but I was happy without.  Centered, settled and comfortable.  And there's nothing wrong with that.  One of Beatle Boy's younger cousins asked me today, "Who are you with?" A fair question from a curious child and with a confident smile I answered, "No one."  This 4 year old thought about that and then asked, "Why?" And I found my smile increased as I replied, "Because I don't need anyone else." And you know what?  I believed it this time.  And that's a really important crossroads.  Over the last year I have found myself growing in new directions and I'm more confident with each step that I take.  I hope my favorite people will be able to keep up.


Sunday, February 14, 2016

Thoughts for Valentines Day

What is love?  Is it a real emotion or just a state of mind we turn on and off with our moods?  Is it caused by hormones as a primal need to reproduce, or is induced by something we want but don't have?  Does it wither, like an unnurtured plant, sometimes able to come back to life with the proper care; or is it crushed like the sudden realization of a painful truth you finally see?  Are some loves stronger than others?  A Parent for a child?  A Child for a parent?  Lovers who risk everything to be together and marry?  Or Lovers who risk everything when together and remain apart? 

What is love?  Does it get fonder when absent?  Will it attract the opposite?  Is it really blind?  Are we afraid of it?  Can it really bind us by a vow?  Or break us with a look?  Is it based upon our trust in who says they love us?  Or do we love because of a fear of being abandoned? Does our repeated experience in it cause us to test it by pushing it away, or not even believe it when we see it? 

If we are without it long enough do we pine for it?  Or do we always feel its tug on our heart?  Once snuffed out can it really be rekindled? Or that more like the moth to the flame?  It has many lessons, love.  Most I have found are bittersweet.  And yet I still can smile at the fond memories of the sweet parts.  I once believed it was wise to try to forget the bitter parts so they would not make me bitter.  But it seems that was a mistake.  The bitter parts are there to teach you what not to do, to help you not make the same mistakes.  To show you that side of you that you are attracted to, and why.  And to help you grow through the experience and mature into the next level of your awareness to love and what you are willing to receive as love.  What you believe you deserve.  This, in the end, is what we choose to be enraptured with.  That is the lesson of love.  So if you need to set your bar a tad higher to love honestly and with all your being, then do it.  For the only thing you will do, even if you don't think you want to or can anymore is, to be honest to your heart.  You do it every minute with every breath,  and it is either joyous or painful.  There is no middle ground with love.  There are only levels of joy or pain.  The best advice I can give this Valentines Day is to believe you deserve the best because you do, and if you believe in yourself that much then everything else will fall into place.


Sunday, February 7, 2016


It's Superbowl Sunday, and I'm excited to see my Bronco's once again in the game.  I'm also looking forward to watching it with Mr. Hopeful this afternoon.  It should be a great game, with the number one offense and defense going at it.  At least, I hope it's a good one. I hate watching scoreless games where the ball seems to never move.  I must make some snacks soon. 

I know it's a long way off but I'm really looking forward to First Daughter's visit in May.  She and Husband except for the Paper are planning a visit in May and hoping to come for Mother's Day Weekend, which would be wonderful.  I usually spend that day with Second Daughter and Second Son and the little ones, Ginger Snap and Sammy Bo Baggins, but this year we might all get to see each other for few minutes. I would love to show off First Daughter and Husband except for the Paper to Carrie and Ben.  I am hoping to get them all together and see if this feud or distance between them can be mended.  Boys are so much easier than girls. 

I think one of the most important things our children teach us is how infalliable we are.  Shows us our real egos, and if we're good parents, forces us to change for our children.  The errors in behavior we see in them, they acquire from us.  "I learned it from watching YOU!"  Not so far from the truth.

I'm reflective about parenthood, today.  Yesterday, the 6th of February was an important date in history to me for it was the day my mother was born.  And for First Son this is also a doubly important date for his survival, because I also eloped and married his father on this day, but that's another story. 

How do I explain the relationship between two strong willed, intelligent, opinionated, blunt, honest, women who are most of the time best friends but when they are opposed they unmovable enemies?  Oh I know, look at me and MY daughter.  Well that explains it for me, but it doesn't for anyone else. 
My mother was a perfect example to me of what to be, and what not to be, at the same time.  And when I look back on some of the areas we disagreed on, I can see how right she was now.  But it took me until my thirties to really believe how accurate her predicitions about people were.  Her X Man power was being able to see through peoples masks, and to know instantly if she liked them or not.  Some she really liked and others she never said a word to.  You could tell if she liked you immediately, and she was fearless in showing her true feelings.  WOW.  That was power.  What I wouldn't give to have believed in my gut that much for my entire life.  You know it's true, right?  Those things your mother says that really piss you off, because she's right?  And a tiny voice in your head just keeps nagging at you, just like she does.  But you are so stubborn you wont listen?  Yea....You know.  Anyway, I miss her every day.  And I can still hear her telling me if it was the right or wrong thing to do.  Amazing that link between children and their parents.  You know everyone always talks about the special link between parents and children, but not many of us talk about the link in reverse. 

Children feel the loss of their parents as much as parents feel the loss of their children.  In most cases, MOST cases, the only differences are that the parents lived a long life, and when children die it is so unfair, because they have yet to live at all.  And there are no memories built up together of a lifetime of lazy Sunday's, or fast paced but fun vacations, just the cruel memories of what you dreamed you would have together.

There have been so many times since she died where I would have loved to have gotten her opinions on a person that waltzed into my life, or a financial situation.  She had a head for figures as well.  We miss being told what to do, sometimes.  Or at least we miss your daily example that answered more questions for us than you'll ever realize.

So much in theatre and movies, our thing, that we could have shared.  The last movie she saw in the theatre was Titantic...Leo and Kate, it's still hard for me to watch all the way through.  You know her last movie would be a great one.  She introduced me to all the greats she loved and I did that for my kids too.  Its funny how we are the same.  I look at my daughter and see the ways we are different, because she has a bit of that, and her fathers mother too.  They liked each other in life, it's an interesting blend in First Daughter.

I still love her.  And I still need her.  And she is always in my head.  So she is never really gone.
All that shit is so true, and you know this if you've lost a parent.  I have a few friends whose parents are probably starting to show some signs of really aging.  It's an odd sensation and I'm not looking forward to seeing that look in my kids eyes.  It's funny, I feel older thinking about my mom at my age than I do on New Year or my birthday.

Here's to strong connections.