ALONE: CORE MEANING: A grammatical word meaning without any other person or thing nearby
Sub Meanings: Without help from others. Without company. Unique in some respect. Done without others.
LONELY: Feeling alone. Isolated. Without companionship or support.
Hum....I thought I was alone and lonely....but by the definition of both words that is simply not true. I am never alone, without help from others...or without any thing nearby....nor am i without support from family and friends both near and far.
Lets try something else...something perhaps more accurate.
WALLOWING: Roll in something. Indulge in something excessively. Have a huge amount of something. Walk with difficulty.
DEPRESSION: Sadness. Psychiatric disorder. Economic slump. Reduced activity. Hollow. Low pressure area.
Ah...that seems more accurate. And when looking up the conditions, it made me actually laugh a bit...I had not considered every meaning of depression,and wallowing, and in my present situation, made me smile and realize that i am indeed in a low pressure area, with reduced activity, which has created my economic slump and made me sad, and of course I have a huge amount of this emotion and am indulging in it excessively, almost to the point of rolling around in it, which makes walking difficult. :D
What ever gets you through it, right? I'm glad I still have a sense of humor. And perhaps in the next couple of weeks a job that will help pay my bills. I feel like i hit a significant ledge in the pit I threw myself into...I'm not at the bottom, although it felt like that was where I was headed when I started to fall...but I can see, now that I've stopped falling, there is a long way to go before the bottom, can't even see it from this ledge....
But now I have stared to look up, to find a way out, instead of looking down longingly into the deceptive, quiet, and dark depths of the pit. As I look up I can see a hand hold from where I tried to climb out on Wednesday night, but slipped. I think I'll start there, and keep going this time. Always looking up, and keep trying. Because yesterday was a good day. Because I got out of bed, and tried. Things went right, only because I tried. I'm no longer swimming...I'm climbing now. But you know I was always better at climbing mountains than swimming anyway.