Last weekend, after company left, I was very productive with my writing. Not the play, that has been shelved for a while, as I think about the characters and how to make them draw my audience in, rather than lead them. And I feel close to something deep, like I'm standing on the edge of an almost frozen lake no sure how far down it goes and knowing I need to step out onto to see. It can wait.
What can't wait is my fantasy novel. I decided to open it up and see where I could go with it over a five day weekend, well two day after company. And I was able to edit fifteen of the twenty-five chapters. It's actually closer to a third draft for the first five but. I'm liking my novel again, and the characters have changed so much since my original thoughts on them as a young woman. Now that I've lived some myself I can see more motivations for my evil characters to be evil. I've never believed in the 'disembodied eye of evil'. I much more enjoy and evil I can understand and relate to. The fallen priest without his faith, privileged rich suddenly poor, the staunch military man without a war, and of course the sociopath with psychotic tendencies. Don't get me wrong, scary monsters and super freaks, (cue Bowie) are great and my novel has it's share, it's just that my monsters are human monsters. Much harder to spot, and just as blood thirsty.
With ten chapters left, I hope I can find the same momentum today. I certainly didn't find it after chores yesterday. Which is usually my problem with writing, I love and need to write, but am never focused after working eleven hours a day during the week. And I not only desire one day to get all the chores done around the house but it's necessary. Studio living is great if you keep everything in its place. If you don't it tends to look like a messy dorm room. That leaves me one day to write and do only what I want to do. And I deserve that. So Sunday is my writing day. I start with my blog and then see where my imagination takes me. I may never get published and that's ok. My writing is for me. And it is one of the best therapy sessions I've found. In fact after a long week when my emotions may be on edge it is very relaxing and a great anti-depressant to get out of my own head and make my mind jump into the world I've created. Rare times I've found the strength to dive deeply into my own past hurts to fuel a character with desires or motivations or experiences both joyous and terrifying. And once on the page, when you know you've gone back there to that sad or frustrating past episode, and you read it during the editing process it can be the most cathartic experience. Like a two-way mirror opening up to that place where you are there, and yet safely not there.
Makes me wonder how many other writers take from their own life to find a character, hardly ever themselves, to explore and write about. Nightmares and dreams are also helpful. And with that thought, I'd hate to have Stephen Kings experiences and dreams to pull from. YIKES. I adore him as a writer but scary thought.
Now that the first cup of coffee has made its way into my brain and begun to percolate my thoughts, I find the need to visit my world much more interesting than staying here.
Cheers. . .for now.
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