Sunday, November 13, 2011

Smudging with Sage Sunday

"So, I'm back to the velvet underground, back to the floor, that I love.  To a room, with some lace and paper flowers, back to the gypsy....that I was....to the gypsy, that I was...."--Stevie Nicks

This will be the second spell I've cast in as many weeks.  I am armed with all the components I need, some very personal souvenirs, some well chosen music from a spell caster much more advanced that I am, and sage bundle for the smudging ceremony, and some wine.  The first spell I cast was for my well being, and I was told, by my teacher that it is a banishment spell.  I was skeptical at first, but as a lover of all things mystical, and curious by nature, I took the cd from her and found myself listening to it much more than once.  I felt weight being lifted as a result, and my belief of the power of music to heal, was renewed.  The banishment spell made things more difficult between me and the person that I was trying to love but, well...it was complicated....but that was also to be expected.

This next spell that I will be casting this evening is one for healing.  And since things are broken and done between us, and it appears to me there will be no way to mend this bridge, I'll just walk away from the burning edges of it.  Giving one more fond glance at the other side, and remembering to look down at the yawning chasm between us.  (Man, that is a LONG way down....I don't want to fall).  The spell is a very old one with our Native Americans.  I'll be smudging myself and my rooms with sage to fill in the dark holes of my spirit and get rid of all the negative energy that this experience has left me with.  Thus enabling me to move on with a wiser and more loving attitude toward all.  And while I understand that this is not a gypsy ritual....the gypsy in me seems very at home with this:  Here is a link for you, in case you are wondering what it entails.

   http://www.asunam.com/smudge_ceremony.html
 
Let me also give you some advice, in case you are in the same situation I was.  It's too late for me, but it may not be for you:

Okay, so your heart is broken and you don't want it to end, even though you know he's no good and he treats you like shit....YOU love him and YOU can change him, save him or (insert your hopeless romantic plan here. (shakes head at you with much empathy....)

First of all take a deep breath....This is the beginning of 'crazy girl brain'.  I know you don't think it is, but it is.  You think this is the beginning of the great plan that will win him back....STOP...STOP right there, you are wrong.  If your heart is broken, and he is trying to leave you, and you won't let him, or see it because YOU aren't done....STOP....and I mean this, even though it will be the most difficult thing you have ever done.  Block him on your facebook, send his email address to your spam folder, delete his phone number from your phone, erase any way to contact him.  TRUST me on this.  Its for your own good.  If you are tempted to contact him, make it so you can't.  And this is why.  You will try, and you will do it several times a day.  Because you want to believe that somehow your messages are getting lost or that he's too busy to read them.

I've got news for you 'sunshine'....this is not what you expected to see....'  Your messages are NOT getting lost in the dark corners of the world wide web...your texts are being read, your e-mails are being ignored, and your constant messages weather on his voice mail or instant messaging, are getting through.....he's just not that into you.
I know....there, there....
I know....
That part is hard to admit, but it's true.  If he loves you, and wants to be with you, I don't care how busy he is, he will find a way.  Trust me on this one too...its true.  When you constantly try to get in touch or chase him, it makes you not only sound like a 12 year old, BUT you are actually undermining your chances with said dude.  Who wants to be with someone that clingy?  Who wants to be with someone who is that insecure....that damaged?
I know....
I know....
That's the second hard  part to admit.  Isn't?  See, you may WANT to blame him for your 'crazy girl brain' but in reality, it's all you.  It's all about what he's not showing you or giving you that you need, and so you become this monster, that you are not.  THIS is actually a good thing, if you are paying attention.  THIS is showing you that HE is NOT the right man for you.  Think about that for a minute.  Really think...I'll wait.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
You see what you are doing with your endless attempts at communication?  You are trying to make him into someone he will never be, so that you can be happy with your fantasy of love, instead of going out and finding the real deal.  Why would you want to do that?  TOO much work.  Love is easy.  Love hits you like a thunderbolt, and believe me, it takes no work at all.  It just is.  If you find yourself using any of the following words to describe your current relationship, please run from it:  'it's complicated', 'it's difficult', 'he's (she's) unavailable...for now'....

If you are in love with someone, and want them to be a part of your life, you have time for them, you make time for them, no matter what.  You can't help yourself, right?  You want to share as much as you can with them, right?  Well guess what....so does everyone else.  He's not too busy...he just doesn't love you enough.

Don't fall for the con, or the sob story of 'she doesn't understand me', or 'we use to be happy...but now....'  let me tell you something about this, you will not help this person become happy until they are happy with themselves. This is the one you should run from the fastest. This is the one that will lead you down a fairy tale path that will never become a happy ending, it will only end badly.  And you will have lost everything that you found with this person, leaving you both, regretful, sad, and sorry.  I hate those emotions, and don't have room for them in my life.  Remember, you were happy before you met, you will be happy again.  You just have to want to be.  Like me.  You have to be in control of your attitude.  Remember no one can make you feel bad about yourself or hurt, unless you let them.

Hugs to you all.