Since it's Mother's Day today, and being a mother I have a lot to do today before my kids get here to shower me with their love and give me the best presents they could ever give me. TIME. Time with them. Just them, and me. Like we were for many, many years as I raised them as a single parent.
Its funny how much you take for granted your busy times together when they are little. Running to show choir competitions, or orchestra performances...oh and all those Christmas shows from kindergarten on. And the academic competitions as well,...some of those were my favorites. All the things you make time for as a mom, to support your busy children. You might even complain a bit that you have to put off your social calender for them. But you know what? Now that they are grown, and have as busy a life as any adult, you want those moments back. You actually miss them. Even the ones that made you smile sleepily from your bed, as you heard the TV come on on Saturday mornings for cartoons, and the suspicious sounds of cupboards being opened and some sort of child-like-version of breakfast being served.
I know I wasn't always the best text book mom. I wasn't the mom that had bacon and eggs and pancakes every morning before the school bus arrived. I was the mom grabbing toast, poptarts, and coffee, backpacks, briefcases, and children and running for the bus or car. But we always had fun. Life under my roof was an adventure. An adventure in growing up together. They learned about how to love film and music and books at my knee, or beside me. I shared with them my loves in life. All the things and people I was passionate about. And I also was very open with them about problems that came up. Maybe too open, but as a single parent that happens a lot.. And while their little shoulders may not have been large enough to support those financial issues, we always pulled together as a family. And it made them better prepared for real life at an early age. I'm all for letting kids be kids as long as possible, but I also think that if you teach them young about what real life is about, they will make fewer mistakes as young adults.
I was a young mom, and grew up with my son, which was an eye opening experience and when my daughter came along I got to grow up some more with her. But they and their friends keep me young. As I remember it was our house they all liked to hang out at, to play video games (Nintendo 64!) or card/board games (RISK, Spades), and yes, even....D&D. I'm proud to say some of their first gaming experiences were with me and I'm still in their adult gaming group to this day. I must have done something right. Their friends all call me 'Momma Jill' and I love that. Hell even some of my friends that are the same age as my kids, call me Momma Jill. Its an honor I wear proudly. For I understand what it means when a young person calls you mom. Its not an honor just given to someone old enough to be one. You really do have to earn it. I love and respect all my kids. And where ever you are today, hug your mom. She is a strong pillar in your life, a hand you could always count on to be there, and a shoulder to lean on...but you know what? I'll tell you a secret....no matter how much of a superhero you think your mom was, she is human. And she had moments of real sadness and worry just like you. And if you are grown up, so is she. And if you ever need a hug, I bet she does to.
So...pick up the phone, get in the car, grab a bus or plane, and get your ass home! and if that doesn't work, remember what Bill Cosby use to say, "I brought you into this world....I can take you out!"
Love to all my kids...both near and far.