Coming from a history of drama meaning everything was ok, and my parents were still together is a hard habit to break. And a pattern that I inadvertently brought to each of my relationships as I left my mothers home and began to have my own. I'm not saying that this need to feel drama in my life was the reason that my marriages failed. I'm only admitting my side of why they failed. Each husband has his own faults that contributed to their side of them failing. But I am admitting that it was at least half of why I failed. Two sides to every story and all.
And the same goes for the relationships that did not continue to marriage...only my half. This time around I'm learning to breathe and to stress less about little things. To talk more openly about my feelings to him, instead of well meaning girlfriends or guyfriends.
Its not that I don't trust my friends. I do. Or they wouldn't be my friends. It's just that after all this time, I've finally figured out that the happiest and healthiest couples talk to each other about the issues and problems that arise in their relationship, first. And rarely need a second persons opinion if they are in love enough to come to a compromise or hold each other through a CGB or SBB moment. (Crazy Girl Brain or Stupid Boy Brain for those of you not familiar with my shorthand)
Sometimes, if I'm not satisfied with the compromise or am still not sure in my brain what I'm feeling or thinking, I will now share with one special girlfriend or my daughter or son. But for the most part now that I've found a man that wants to help me, as much as I help him, I talk to him first. And I've missed this feeling of 'you and me against the world'. I've really not felt this way in many, many years. And I hope it lasts. I have no doubt that it will. I know from experience that the only thing to kill communication between people that love each other is to stop. And I have not intension of ever stopping. I like to talk too much for that.
Time for more coffee and some romantic geeking out with my man before we have our one day off together each week. Remember to do something today that is fun and just for you. I am.