Sunday, February 8, 2015

Changes-YES

I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately.  How They say that people change, or things change and that you can’t deny or do anything about that.  That how we have almost become complacent in our acceptance of people never being faithful or committed in relationships, because, well, people change.

And I disagree with this wholeheartedly.  In my experience, I have found that people who say they have had a change of heart, are not to be trusted.  I believe that you can commit in friendships, or romances, and that monogamy does exist and for likeminded people is still full of passion and romance.

This is not a fantasy, it’s a fact.  I’ve met people who have been married for decades and still look at each other like the first time their hearts knew it was real, and it was forever.  I am lucky enough to have one special man that effects me that way, out of all of the past lovers or husbands, this man is still the one that makes all others in the room vanish when he is present.  It’s an amazing feeling and one I can’t help but be true to.  See that’s the secret.  Find someone that sets your heart and mind afire with passion and wonder.  Keep the person that you want to share everything with.  The good, the bad and all the boring in-between stuff.  Keep the one that sometimes scares you with their plans but always includes you in them.  And you will never be in a marriage or relationship that is wanting or stagnant or worse without love and passion.  That kind of feeling doesn’t change with time.  It stays strong with time, because as a couple you are changing together, you have no choice.  Because everything that you desire is wrapped up in the pleasuring of your partner.  That pleasures you, to see them happy, will make you happy too.

And how do you do this?  Well, one simple thing, be yourself.  Life is simple, so is love.  Be who you are and you will attract the perfect person to share your path.  I’m not saying that it will be all hearts and flowers and that you’ll never fight or argue about little life issues.  But I am saying that the only arguments will be little, life issues.  Never huge deal breakers.  Because like minded people don’t have to set rules and fence each other in.  They trust because it’s unthinkable to be with anyone else.  I’m not saying here that you won’t look, that others won’t make your head turn.  I’m saying that your feet won’t follow.  Experience will tell you that nothing is better than what you have found.

I’ve been in relationships where I’ve felt his for my man but he has not returned it as wholeheartedly and I’ve been in relationships where it was the reverse, I was the one who didn’t love as wholeheartedly.  The evidence in these relationships is that they didn’t last, hearts changed, feelings changed, because they were not shared emotions or passions.  No ones fault.  Just the learning curve and experience as we grow up.  In looking back on that one man that still sets my heart and soul on fire, I know I am that woman for him too.  I believe him when he tells me, and it’s unthinkable to not do so.  Because when it’s real, you just feel it.  You may not be able to tell someone why you love them or anything about them that seems special enough.  But thats the point of love.  You can’t explain it.  It just is.  And love that can last many, many years is rare indeed.  Hold on to it, if you have it.  Don’t smother it with rules and fences.  You won’t need them.  Learn to trust in your own heart, and if for some reason it gets broken.  You pick up the pieces and try again.  Because failed love is never your fault if you go into it with an open mind and open heart.  And if you are being yourself and not misrepresenting yourself to make the person love you.

Love and passion is about trust and caring for the other person above and beyond yourself.  Not about being taken care of, or changing the person to fit your mold of perfection.  Real lasts.  Fantasy dies.

Cheers.