Sunday, February 22, 2015

Tax Man

I’ve never enjoyed filing my income tax, but now that I’m my own business I hate it.  I owe.  And I knew I would.  I’m sure I’ll not have enough saved in 6 weeks to pay it all, and still live.  So my plan is to save as much as I can and then get the vouchers from the IRS and keep paying all year for last year (2014) and next year (2015).  I want to pay everything I owe and will owe, so it’s not so painful at tax time.  Or worse so they don’t cart me off to prison.  Orange is NOT my best color.

And I have always been very good at entertaining myself, by myself.  With books and videos and games and conversations on line. I have never really needed the night life that I could have here in the Windy City.  And if that exploration has to wait a year for me to catch up, then so be it.  I have a plan of action and I will pay my taxes like I always have when I worked for someone else for a living.

Its has always been so hard for me to save money.  One of my fatal flaws.  But I know I’m also very stubborn and once I set my will or sights on something I get it done.  And I will succeed in this as well.  I have to.  And I think I have the right frame of mind about it.  All of this chatter is just my brain being worried about it.  That will be a good test for me.  To see how much I actually do worry about it.  I hope I can get that part under control.  Obviously it isn’t yet.

If I could find a serious buyer for the car that would solve all my problems of last years taxes and put me only one quarter behind.  Which is still a sizable amount but at least I wouldn’t owe…yet.  

See there goes that worry again.  I’m taking the rest of today to not talk about it or think about it.  And if I have to follow last nights White Russians with morning Baileys, chocolate and whipped cream in my coffee to do it, so be it.  I’m off work today and can do what I want.

The scared part of me almost believes that I did this to myself so that I’d have a good excuse NOT to go out and meet people yet.  Almost. That needs more thinking about.  And I promised myself I’d not worry today.