Sunday, November 22, 2015

Communications and Opinions

Its true, I love to talk.  I love to exchange ideas, and discuss everything with my best and closest.  From the weather to 'Did you hear what he did now?' to world events and event the big three that always start arguments, sex, religion and politics.  Now I'm not one of those who is always right.  Yes, I'm confident, and yes a confident woman is almost always looked at as either a bitch or a know it all.  And I've come to grips with always being misunderstood with men in this area.  Women get me much better, but even then, because as women we've all run into the smiling back stabber, we don't trust.  And I've been the smiling back stabber too.  But that's ancient history. 

What I'm discovering harder and harder to find is other like minded individuals that can have an intelligent conversation, either in person or on line, about anything, and not get offended and stop talking.  Now I don't know whats wrong with me.  Maybe I just don't get as angry as the next guy, although I do have a temper.  I know I take things too personally sometimes, so it can't be that.  So maybe it's that I just assume that everyone else is like me.  That they want to hear my opinion as much as I want to hear theirs.  Just to get to know them.  Find out if we're like minded.  If we aren't, move along.  I'm not trying to change peoples mind because I don't knuckle under to your opinion if it differs from mine.  I'm also not trying to change your opinion if mine is different, just get the equal time to state it.  Are the generations alive on the planet now so coddled that they can't have a disagreement between friends and remain friends?  It makes me wonder. 

Now none of this is happening to me right now, but it has in the past and I watch my social medias.  I watch friends posting things that are heartfelt, always I assume things are from the heart. Or why post them?  Even humor is from the heart.  Anyway I'll see random friends unfriending others over differences of opinion and I wonder, why?  Why does it have to go to that extent.  Are we that afraid to hear someones opinion?  Are we that afraid that our minds might be changed?  So what if they are?  Isn't change good?  Isn't growth good? 

Social media has gotten to the point where everyone is in such a hurry that we forget to actually meet each other.  Most men that reach out to me go immediately to sexual innuendo or outright demands for pictures.  WOW.  Just wow.  I mean even if we are friends of friends, that doesn't give you the right to ask me that.  And what happened to meeting a person first?  I'm reminded of that classic scene in Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life where the sex education class is being asked how to get a woman going and one student suggests rubbing the clitoris, and John Cleese says, "Whats wrong with a kiss boy?!  It seems that in todays society men think it's ok to approach a woman on line, like this.  And why is that?  I can only imagine it's because we let them. 

Everytime I get one that reaches out to me, and keep in mind I'm not listed on any dating sites because I believe it's worse there, and they can't even type out a complete sentence with real words, I sigh.  What's happening to our language on line?  Too many short cuts.  Too many misunderstandings.  And 9 times out of 10 its because they can't do it.  They are so young they don't know how to actually communicate in the written word.  When it's someone that's my age I just have to shake my head, or SMH...which is also smack my head...see, I got you.  misunderstanding.

I think I miss the era when women were introduced into society, and men were taught how to court a woman with respect.  Where a courtship lasted longer than one or two conversations on line.  Where you actually met through people you both trusted and were genuine to each other with sexual tensions being allowed to build and getting to know each other intellectually was just as exciting as the physical, if not more.  Reminds me of the great love of my life.  We met slowly, through friends, and it was one of the most romantic meetings ever.  We gave ourselves a chance to talk, and dance, and share some meals together before ripping each others clothes off.