As an adult I'm finding it much easier to find the people of like minds and temperaments. And I'm also finding it much easier to walk away from people that cause me stress or don't 'get me'. I think in my youth I tried much harder for people to 'get me', and it caused me to try to 'save them' or change them. Which they didn't desire or need. But I was doing this because I thought I needed them. I tried to make my tribe instead of finding it. It seemed so much easier than actually going out and trying to make friends. But it's wrong. The last five years has taught me that no matter the amount of desire for a person or pleading with them to 'see the light' it just can't be done. As the old song goes, 'People are people..."
But I think the real reason I feel so content and happy with my solo life, is that I finally enjoy my own company. It had always been a fear for me, a life without a tribe. My tribe is long distance, scattered all over America, and I stay in touch often on line. Since I know and love these people in real time, the virtual time means more than say a 'facebook friend'. Making friends in person is scary for me. I do much better on line. I think.
With that being said, I did have a lot of fun last night at my Neighborhood English Pub The Red Lion Inn - Lincoln Square - Chicago. There was only one regular and he was coming as I was calling it a night. But the owner and the bartender and waitstaff were once again very friendly. And it's like my friend Benny Sweat said, "I love this place, its like being in someones really nice living room." And the family vibe is strong there. I always feel like I'm coming home. Ghostbusters was on the telly, and in the back room with the Doctor Who stuff, was a Victorian crystal ball reading, a Tarot card reading and an actual Victorian Seance. Was a very fun and scary themed night. With just the right amount of theatrics. I met another new couple from the neighborhood and another single gal just stopping in for food to go. Nothing really to report, except that I had a good time.
It might not sound like much to you if you don't know me, but I have a really hard time leaving my apartment on my days off. I try to schedule all my errands then so I have to leave otherwise I'd just stay in and write or game. And too much solitude, no matter now enjoyable, is not good for me. So going out alone on Halloween is one time of the year I can overcome my shyness at being around people I don't know. Because I'm in costume. Maybe I should just dress up in a costume every time I want to go out? That might solve it.