Sunrise Sunset

Sunrise in the city is not like sunrise in the country.  I remember living and visiting family in Nebraska when a young child and preteen, the sunrise and sunsets were brilliant orbs of red or gold that sat on the flat lands.  The sky a rainbow of color behind it as it rose.  Then as a teenager and young woman Pikes Peak was the back drop for that sunset making the mountain a silhouette, but the sunrise made them a breathtaking pink and orange with the reflection of the snow.  I missed the orb but was awed by the rosy range.  Now in the Windy City the buildings take up so much of the sky, that you only see the yellow glow when it peeks in between the skyscrapers, like a shy child playing hide n seek. The sky slowly grows light without an orb or reflection and, I find I miss the dawn of the mountains. 

Life is like that. 

You miss what you have only after it is gone.  And you look back on it with a fondness that kindles a desire to return to see it.  But when you do, you find it either unchanged or completely unrecognizable due to growth.  And you then you long for what you left behind again. 

People are like that. 

The memory we have of our lost loves or friends can range from poignant to affectionate.  And yet they are changed either from lack of growth or growth in a completely different direction from yours.  Such is life.  If we are lucky we are continually changing, hopefully for the better but not always.  We go through change so quickly and yet it seems like it can take forever for real change to occur.  That is until you wake up and realize the change is compete.  Then it's like a switch going off inside you and you know something is different.  It might be a change in a long believed outlook or a change of heart, but the change is real and once it flips you can't undo it. 

You really can't go back.

I know some hopeless romantics out there will argue.  Believe me I was one for thirty years.  But life taught me one thing after all the regret, and bitterness and anger were lifted.  Every sunrise is a chance at making my world and me a better version.  And every sunrise is different and beautiful in its own way.  Just like people.  Just like life.  Even when you are down, you know you will be up again as along as you never give up.  As the dawn breaks here I look upon my blue gray and pink sky and wonder how many of the ones I left behind or left me behind see their sky and think of what happened between us?  What really went wrong?  How could I have changed it?  Would I?  And I know they do.  But we are smarter than that. We know you can't go back.  So we go forward.  Life is waiting, and you must live it.  Or it will pass you by.  Of course if you're like me and you are tired of life and its drama and excitement, by all means have another cup of coffee and move when you're sure.  You can't force life, or change.  You can only accept it.

Cheers