This morning while drinking my coffee and looking at my horoscope and PostSecret, my Sunday ritual before I come here and write for you, I was taken aback by something that I'm sure everyone has seen except me. but just in case you missed it too, check out the 50 People One Question video. I've tried to embed it here, but it's on the PostSecret site if that fails, and is very short, considering it's topic. Worth the watch, especially if you are like me and you feel like your problems are significant somehow...or that your issues with this very difficult life are unique. Its a lesson in tolerance, and the difference in people and how they respond to one simple question: What's your secret?
I found it fascinating how some people had a smile on their faces for topics that would make me cringe, and others were as uniquely sad as I am about my secrets. It made me want to reach out and hug them all, for different reasons. Some, to share in their happiness or reward them for a positive feelings about universally negative topics. Others to try to show them they are not alone, when they obviously feel so alienated. When using google to find it several different ones in different cities showed, up and I plan on watching them all before reading cards for some friends today and hopefully finishing up the second draft of chapter 10. (it's really being a bugger, this chapter 10).
I want to be out of my head, and try not to be so negative about my dwindling bank account, and customers who won't sign and close...yet. I'm trying to stay hopeful in a very negative place. I'm trying to remember that I'm a loving and giving person by nature, and not having anyone to hug, touch, be with, in my darkest hours, makes it difficult for me to try to pull myself up. I'm a cancer and by nature we tend to hide in our shells when it gest tough, exposing our claws to protect ourselves....which is usually the wrong thing to do, but happens in our most desperate hours. I'm not there yet, but I can see the writing on the wall. I want to bash down the wall, but I need money to buy the sledge hammer to accomplish this...catch 22. :)
Watch the video...breathe with me, and think about your secrets. 50 People One Question
Wasn't that one girl so sad, and the boy about death, so joyous? How about that couple with the cat and the book? Sometimes humans really bother me, and then other times, like this, they really make me think that maybe, just maybe I'm worried about all the wrong things, and taking for granted all the best things that are right in front of me.
....What's my secret, you ask? I'm afraid I'm going to be homeless soon, and alone.