Sunday, August 19, 2012

"And The Beat Goes On....The Beat Goes On....

Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the de da de dee, la de da de die."

I'm not sure why Sonny and Cher are going over and over in my brain this's kind of like a Groundhog Day moment, and it does keep an almost perfect rhythm to my headache...hung over...again.  Thanks to my Pat Head friends and their 5th annual summer end of bash bbq.  And even though I left that wonderful affair before it got too late...I went to another shindig after with completely different friends.  Somewhere I kind of frequent, but it's like Fight Club....First rule is we don't talk about it.  Opps...guess I just broke the first rule.  Now I'll be banned from Fight Club again.  

You know I often say "Youth is wasted on the young."  But I seem to be keeping up my end of the partying bargain.  And what a reason to celebrate!  What you ask?  I'll tell you.  My job.  The one that I've been struggling with to close more effectively....well we lost our receptionist.  And I've got a lot of experience in that area, office manager, executive secretary, you name it.  In that field I've done it all.  And they offered me a full time, hourly position, AND commission if I still want to do the sales part.  Which I do.  This means my days start at 9 am and end sometime after 5 pm...depending on evening appointments.  Which most of them are.  10 hour days are not uncommon.  And I'm exhausted after one week.  But it's a GOOD exhaustion.  I feel necessary, supportive, productive, AND I'm getting paid for it.  I finally can see light at the end of the tunnel and it's coming.  In two weeks, when I get my first paycheck from them with my new job responsibilities, I should be able to catch up or pay a little bit on everything that has been piling up.  I even paid my attorney some and had not in two months.  I'm such an honest person by nature, that letting bills pile up makes me feel very guilty.  My dad never pays bills until they 'come looking for him'.  My mom always paid early....guess who I favor?

Oh and another reason to celebrate, I'm writing again.  Got the second drafts done on chapters 1-9, and in the process of getting feedback from my editor.  Which should help me get past a bit of a block on chapter 10.  It's starting to really shape up now.  I'm feeling better about sticking with it again, and I know that is because my job situation has ironed itself out.  And because I smile every damn time I think of my editor (Mr. Practical) and what his friendship and eternal support means to me.

Speaking of smiling every damn time I think of someone....Mr. Hopeful and I have not had the time to see each other in a span of time that is even long for us.  And while we talk daily, I know it's only a matter of time before we can get something scheduled again, and that makes me smile too.  I hate the distance between us, but that's only because with distance comes paranoia.  My fears are always along the lines of...will distance make his heart grow fonder, or will distance cause him to forget me?  For me it always makes my heart grow fonder.  The anticipation, along with the love, sometimes its the only thing that gets me through my days.

So I can't complain.  My job is looking up.  My finances will get better.  And my heart is healing and learning to love again.  All because I took some risks.  I guess that is the real lesson of life, isn't?  Risk something.  Care about something.  Want something.  Dream something.  And watch it happen.