Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Friends You Don't Know You Have

It's no secret that I've had a bad bout with the flu and a nasty fall cold, back to back the end of September and beginning of October; making it difficult to work a full week, and so my paychecks have been rather small.  Also, of course, my breaks on my car decided to go at this point, and with the way things work now a days; the mechanic that I trust would not fix my car with out payment up front.  Unfortunately they've been stiffed too many times to let people pay repairs off anymore, and I was forced to open a charge card there, that I can't afford.  I am catching up on bills but afraid that my current salary won't cover my current expenses.  And of course, the area where I'm cutting back on is food....hence why I was sick a lot, resistance down and all, well you know.  I'm not complaining, really, just setting the stage so you understand what I'm about to tell you next.

My daughter is in a musical (The Rocky Horror Picture Show) and while I probably shouldn't have afforded it, last weeks blog talked about how I went and how great she was.  My Trivia Team, The Rum Runners, wanted to come with, but couldn't opening night, so My Favorite Bartender took me to it again on Friday night with them.  Such a nice man, and I'm happy to call one of my 'kids'.  We danced the Time Warp on stage with my daughter and it was a wonderful evening and so much more fun to share it with others that love her.  These friends I knew I had.  But felt I should mention them again before I continue onto the ones I didn't know I had.

Last night started out with three options for fun, and Saturday night is my favorite night for fun.  One with Mr. Hopeful, which never seems to happen when I think it's going to, so I figured it wouldn't, and I was right.  Two was with That Guy maybe late after Pat, and that one didn't sit right with me either, although it was my second choice for fun with a friend.  And the third was Pat McCurdy.  I chose Pat.

I finally decided on a costume for Pat's Annual Halloween bash and I was all dressed up in my 80's costume with goth makeup for a Pat song.  This year's choice for me was "Those Were Not The Days"  hehe--got a lot of compliments on the outfit too!  Unfortunately the best ones and most tempting came from taken or married men.  Story of my life!  So I would flirt a little back, not seriously, but serious enough to let them know I was flattered, and chalked it up to bravery.  Married men/taken men are not afraid to talk to a sexy older woman, because they are taken.  I'm not even going to try and give you all nicknames at this point...you know who you are.  :D

It must have shown on my face and demeanor that I was 'concerned' about 'something'  because several people asked me if I was okay.  I have special Pat Family, and I had posted on one of their Facebook status that they should have a drink for me as I can not afford to attend this year.  That's right, money is so tight I couldn't even afford the $6.00 cover charge.  I just didn't want anyone to worry about me not being there, as I almost always make it.

I didn't do it expecting to get three separate offers from three of them to cover my cover charge and buy me a drink.  WOW.  I accepted the first of the three, not immediately, but as the day wore on and I started to realize that I should go. These tentative plans with other friends were not solid, no matter how much I wanted to see them both, and I should go and do something rather than sit here and be alone on a Saturday night.  So I accepted the first offer from...lets see, he doesn't have a nickname yet....I'll call him Mr. Know-It-Before-You.  (NOT mr. know-it-all...that's just mean and suggests he is wrong...which he might be sometimes, but so far, I've gotten correct and well thought out opinions from him).

Mr. Know-It-Before-You offered me to come to his place, meet his girlfriend, and he'd cover my cover charge and slip it to me so that no one knows.  What a nice man.  So I show up, and there are two other couples there, one hetero, one lesbian, not that that really matters, just setting the diversity stage of my friends. Anyway, it was a lot of fun, they had me sit down and eat supper with them...another surprise, and I liked them.  They were intelligent and opinionated and didn't shriek back in fear when my opinions didn't match them, just accepted it as a difference in people.  I miss that.  When Mr. Know-It-Before-You called me into the kitchen to slip me some money, he tried to give me much more than the $6.00 cover, and I foolishly said, "Oh no, I could never drink THAT much."  and he said, "No, how much do you need to get you through the week?"  I almost cried.  Which really would have ruined my makeup, so I held it together, and refused him, even though I knew I should have taken it.  Later I asked him if he was serious and he handed me more, saying not to worry about it.  Pay it forward.  Other than the $6.00 cover I kept every cent as I will need it to fill my car with gas to make it to work.  This is the type of kindness that I use to be able to do for my friends, and wish I could again, and am so thankful of his friendship.  And we aren't even close, we only met last year.  My friends even bought me drinks, or filled a glass from their pitchers for me as well.

Its the times like this, that really help you to understand who your real friends are.  The ones that are there for   you when the chips are down, not just when you are riding high.  I expect this kind of special attention from my close friends, or lovers, the ones that have lunch delivered to me when I'm sick or when they know I'm not eating, or just take me out to lunch to make sure I'm eating.  The ones that invite me over for a tarot reading, only to feed me too....sneaky bastards.  I love them.  But I guess I feel like that line from Streetcar, "I'm not use to the kindness of strangers."  For I feel like, except for Pat, we really don't have much else in common, or at least we don't know if we do.  And perhaps I should amend that with a yet.  Perhaps this is the beginning of a closer friendship.

The Pat McCurdy show was, as usual, just what I needed to lift my spirits. At intermission, I had Pat try to guess what song of his I was dressed up as, and when I told him he said, "I love that song!"  and then proceeded to play it the first song after intermission.  I don't know if he was always going to or not, since he hasn't played it in a while, but I have a feeling that my Pat Head Friends were trying to cheer me up, and maybe, just maybe that explains why I got some special attention from Pat in song.

He sang a verse of "I would pay to have sex with...(insert name here)"  and his on the spot rhyming was funny and accurate.  And not I'm not going to tell you my name, might be too easy to figure out what the sex rhyme was, and that's the price you pay for not coming to see Pat.  LOL And somehow I ended up holding his hand during Sex and Beer, and during that part of the song we are suppose to look to the person beside us and say all sorts of funny things.  If you are a constant reader of my blog, you might remember last year at Weinerfest when Brian and his super hot girlfriend, Araysa, became his super hot finance during this exact moment.  Well it was a show stopper, when Pat said, "look to the person beside you and say, "Kiss me you fool."  And I had been doing all my lines to Mr. Know-It-Before-You-Do, but not this one, as he had looked to his left, not to me.  All of a sudden I noticed it got very quiet for a finale of a rock show. One of those pauses on stage that seem longer than they really are.  So the actress in me slowly turns to my right, and Pat is looking at me, with hopeful, sad eyes that are purely acting, and I lost it.  I blushed and laughed and didn't kiss him.  So Mr. Know-It-Before-You-Do leaned in to kiss Pat.  Was a show stopper!  Of course it wasn't a real kiss, more like a quick peck.  But it saved the end of the show.

And I found with that ending, and all the other heartfelt inquiries into why I wasn't my usual upbeat self, that I knew these people, that I may only see once a month or so, really do care about me and like me.  We are a diverse group that might not have picked each other as friends if it weren't for our mutual love of Pat and his songs.  But I know now that it goes much deeper than that for some of us.  I'm glad that I was introduced to him and his music, even if the person that introduced me is not really someone I consider a friend anymore, just an acquaintance.  I think maybe that's why he briefly came back into my life a few years ago...to get me with this group of great people.

Note to self:  Do more with Pat Heads.