Sunday, October 28, 2012

What's Best For Me

Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year.  I love costumes and I love to be able to dress up in whatever I want, go out, and not be looked at like a freak.  It's such a liberating feeling.  That brings me to the weekend in general, it was a very liberating weekend.  First up was last night.  I met some of my girlfriends at Yesterdays, dressed up in my best gypsy costume complete with gold brocade corset and skirts, with plenty of black lace and a top hat to pull it all off, I will post some pictures to my OH SNAPP! site later.  Was the usual drunken bash of people milling about in costume and hugs and kisses peppered with the 'It's been too long' and 'We should do this more often' comments that come with these events.  But nothing really eventful happened.  I did guess a costume that a chick had on, for a free drink, and shocked her when within maybe a couple of minutes when I came up with the answer.  Was a pun, so...well.  she had two $1.00 price tags in each ear.  And normal clothes on.  So I looked her up and down and finally said, "You're a Buck-An-Ear?"  and she said, "Holy shit!  She guessed it." and took me to her man who promptly bought me a drink. And while it may sound like I'm making a small deal about this night, it was a nice time, singing and dancing with my friends at my favorite bar.  I didn't run into any of my oldest friends, and sadly never seem to anymore.  But the newer ones are proving more able to keep up with me.  (What does that tell you?.....Don't make me say it, but YOU'RE OLD NOW.  For the Incarnations of Immortality, generation two, you know who you are.)

Next up was the night before, an old acquaintance's birthday.  I was surprised to be invited but accepted because I hadn't spent much time with this group in many years, and they are all more friends of ex-lovers or ex-friends than my friends, so I could only assume it was a "the more the merrier" or "you've been missed" option.  Both were fine with me and while I was hoping to see those ex-lovers and friends, and didn't, I was not disappointed by who I did meet.  Among the group was a very entertaining and fun man, we will call him Mr. Teaser Pony.  He spent the majority of the night flirting and buying me drinks at all the bars we followed the birthday boy to.  The birthday boy had a mission, to hit every bar in town, and of course since there are over 200 of them that was never going to happen.  I think we hit 7 or 8 before we were all at our standard closing bar, Yesterdays.

Now here is where the story gets very interesting, at Yesterdays, there was a man, in the corner who was devilishly handsome and kept catching my eye, and to make matters better he was wanting to catch my eye, and when the birthday party left me for one more dance at another bar and then home, I decided to stay and see what would happen with Mr. Charisma. Turns out he and I have a lot in common as far as hobbies and interests, he's a geek too, and that's probably a given hanging out at that bar.  He was witty, and a shameless flirt, like Mr. Teaser Pony only Mr. Charisma CAN close the deal.  LOL (boy can he close the deal!)
Long story short, I almost didn't go out on Saturday night (see above) because I was having a hard time walking.  I love it when I get exactly what I want in bed.  Without even asking or hinting or anything.  He was very good at picking up on my verbal cues and well, points for Mr. Charisma.  Now all we have to do is see if he is going to be a repeat performance or a one night only performance.  If I believe what he tells me it will happen again, and he did make first contact the next day....even came by the apartment to help me get laced up in my corset...such a thoughtful man. I have added him to my A-Team of Mr. Hopeful, Mr. Practical and That Guy, not because he has put in nearly enough time with me to warrant that, but because like the rest of the A-Team, he's otherwise compromised.

I know, I know...all my girlfriends just went from GROAN....and believe me, if he were single my A-Team would still be just three and he would be his own team. But my A-Team will continue to be placeholders for my affections until a proper man comes my way, who is available both literally and emotionally...or until something happens to one of my A-Team to make them in this state.

And how likely is that to happen with any of them, you may ask? talking with them all about their marriages, because you know being a mistress is more than sex, you get to hear so much stuff that you really don't care about, but you find that they need to tell someone.  And you are the someone they trust.  I do like that part of it, the advice part.  And I do think I'm helping their marriages by fulfilling a role their wives do not, will not, or can not.  I know what you are thinking and in times of great depression I go there too, but not today.  These are men I first and foremost respect, and never want or will hurt.  I want them to be happy.  I don't really care if its with me or with their wives, but I can't stand seeing them unhappy, when I'm around to make them happy and maybe forget for awhile all the stress in their lives that are pulling them away from their chosen loves.  I really do feel like this with all of them, and would and will step aside when its over with no regrets or hard feelings.  Now is it the same depth for them all.  No.  My heart is swayed, so much more by one than the other three.  I think that might be two if one of them were in the same state as me, but I maybe confusing a great friendship with a great love there.  The other two are polar opposites in both attitude, longevity of knowing them, and the way they want me.

The only thing I can do is sit and smile, because if my A-Team is really just place holders for the next great love of my life, then this man is going to be phenomenal.  Because he will be a mixture of all four of them, and that will make him unforgettable.  And if I'm honest with myself I think one of them is already that guy, but of course he would not want to know that....or maybe he would....egos...doesn't matter, I'll never tell.  

So the lesson in this weeks blog is to get out there and experiment, find the qualities in a partner that you desire, trial and error, keep trying, and if you are like me and have a hard time throwing anything away, you might want to keep a few around until he or she walks into your life.  It's better, in my book, to have some fun, as long as no one gets hurt.