Sunday, July 14, 2013

Bastille Day Birthday!

Another year gone, and I don't feel any different.  I've said this many years, and maybe that's why I feel good every morning when I wake up and know I have another chance at life, another chance at a perfect day.  Or maybe it's because I finally found the man of my dreams.  It took long enough!  Here I am celebrating my 51st birthday, listening to RUSH's Bastille Day in my head, because he is quietly dozing beside me.  I'd say I love this man, but sometimes that word seems so over used, and small for the enormous feelings that bubble up inside me whenever I see his smile.  (I'm a romantic sap, I know, but I don't care)

I was reading this morning and a card about cheating and revenge caught my heart and mind.  It was the one that said, "When my boyfriend of nearly four years cheated on me with a close friend, I was devastated....So I did what any mature adult would do.  I saved all my pee in a water bottle.  Waited a couple of days for it to get nice and smelly. Then poured into the ac intake of her vehicle.  It makes me feel good knowing every she's hot she's going to smell my piss."  I find this very immature and foolish.  Whoever this person is, she is lying to herself about who to be the most angry at.  I'm not saying that her close friend was innocent, but her boyfriend had a stronger commitment to her than her girlfriend.

Don't get me wrong here, I've been on both sides of this issue, and I can say with a completely open heart and mind, that anytime a boyfriend or husband cheated on me, I blamed the boyfriend or husband, NOT the woman they cheated with.  Why? Well that's simple.  The woman may not have known he was taken, men do lie about this, you know?  And the commitment they had with me and the love they had with me should have been enough to keep them in my  bed.  When someone cheats on you they do you a favor.  That's right, a huge favor.  They are showing you that you don't matter to them.  That you can do better.  That you are easily replaced.  And that what they felt, while it may have been real, is dead now.  (aside on this last one, is that you probably felt something was wrong too, but put blinders on instead of looking at the issues and solving them to help fix the relationship BEFORE the cheating is blind).

The best thing you can do is not revenge, for that keeps you bound to someone that doesn't matter anymore.  The best thing you can do is move on, and realize that you deserve to be treated better than this.  You deserve to be treated the same way that you treat others.  And the worse thing about revenge, is that they will just laugh at your silly antics.  Laugh together, while holding each other and hoping you will be better soon.  Pity.  That's the emotion you will generate with revenge.  And pity is close to hate.  And none of us want to be remembered with hate.

So the next time you find yourself in a position of wanting revenge remember these tips:
1.  Give a person enough rope and they will hang themselves.  (you can then laugh at them)
2.  Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.  (allows you to keep an eye on them, and again a possibility of laughing)
3.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  (wow...old but still great advice.)
4.  Please believe your own self worth and you will make better choices in all facets of your life.

I'm off to celebrate my birthday with my family and friends.  Cheers.