Sunday, June 28, 2015

For My FIrst Daughter

This is the last morning I'll make cinnamon roll pancakes for her.
This is the last morning that we'll have coffee together in Chicago.
This is the last day we'll be riding the train together and talking about the future.
This is the last time we will laugh or argue or tell someone off in Chicago.

But this is not an ending

This is the first time I'll make cinnamon roll pancakes for her love.
This is the first time we'll have coffee together in Chicago.
This is the first time the three of us will ride the train together talk about her future together.
This is the first time I've seen her this happy, and I can't wait to get to know him.

This is a wonderful beginning for her, and I love her, so I'm happy and proud of her that she is moving on and making her life what she wants it to be instead of just existing or settling.  My friends as me how I feel, and how can I feel anything but joy for her.  She has met one of the great loves of her life and now we will see if she is smarter than her mom, and can keep him.  I think she is.  Am I sad?  Only for myself at losing her physical presence.  Am I worried?  Sure, but as parents we always worry even when they are happy and safe, it's habit.  Do I trust him?  I trust her.  I don't know him yet, and I'll never know him as well as she does, but I do know her and I trust that I raised her to stand up for herself and believe in herself and to like herself.  With that combination she will always land on her feet. 

Now I will not be sad about the lasts today, but all the firsts to come.  And I will have joy in my heart knowing she is where she is suppose to be, as am I. 

Cheers