Sunday, January 22, 2012

Last night was fun.  Just good old fashioned fun!  I didn't let anything get to me, and I felt in real control of my life.  This is a huge step for me because quite frankly I've been a romantic and nostalgic mood for some time.  And this paring of emotions usually keeps me home...thinking.  Thinking too much in my head.

This month's Pat McCurdy concert was great!  We all dressed up in Canadian Tux's.  Which is complete denim or as much as you can, head to toe. My apologies to my Canadian followers, please don't leave.  I almost wore a RUSH Concert t-shirt just because, but decided, as usual to go with something that made me feel sexy and empowered under all that denim.  And okay, so I can't help it, I'm a girl and I like pretty things.

So here I am, amongst my friends and fellow Pat Heads, getting some innocent, flirtatious remarks and admiring hugs, and glances and I've already spoken to the current one I'd like to be spending time with.....and that's not happening tonight.  But I'm okay with that.  I don't feel like that means it never will.  This is a big step toward acceptance. And I'm in the moment of drinking my second White Russian, and I get a text from that young man and fellow Pat Head, from back in October.  (been so long now you might have to go back to the other blog web address to read about  He has earned the nickname Crisis.  As in mid-life).  Anyway, Crisis was looking for me, wondering if I was where he already knew I was.  (shakes head at the memory of the 25 year old male brain)  I had asked several of the Pat Heads last week if they were going and he was one.  Interesting.  I took it in a positive way, and immediately responded in my usual flirty tone, and forgot all about him.  Which was exactly what I should have done.  The proof that I handled it correctly for me, is that he never showed after saying he was coming.  And I was having too much fun to miss the thought of him.  Now remember, this is Crisis, not a guy I actually care about.  So it's easy to move on, to not have it wreck your night.  This is a good thing, and something I need to learn even when I care about the guy.  

A group of us went from The Alpine (YAY Pat!  Great show!), To Flipside (Dead...oh, except we saw a 'him' not with the right 'her'.....yikes....the right 'her' was with us....time to go quick), To John's (TOO crowded), To Dublin Square(SHIT...lost half of our crew...oh well do a Breakfast Shot with a side of bacon!  This is the best shot EVER.   Bacon.), To Yesterdays (ah home....and ran into some them, but they left), To John's (again?!  less crowded, no one there), To Bronco's (i think it's called something else and ran into a VERY drunk Frat Boy, thank goodness I was there to get him home and my fellow Pat Head that lasted with me, I shall nickname her Thumper, because she's twiterpated and emotional)

But while I couldn't see the man I would have loved to have been with last night, and I didn't miss Crisis, I had a great time.  Instead of longing for what I couldn't have, I actually got lost in the moments, and the hugs and kisses I got last night felt real to me, the friendships seemed to cement and acquire some new levels.  This pleases me greatly, and now I'm going to continue to treat my hangover with coffee and other home remedies.  You know four White Russians may be too many....especially with the shot.....cheers...but no clinking of the glasses please.  :)