Sunday, March 4, 2012

Not Easy, But Worth It.

I've come to the realization very recently, that I'm happiest when life is a little difficult.  I think this comes from being taught at an early age how to be independent.  Coming from a broken home, I pulled my own weight.  Wait a minute...I hate that.  I'm not from a broken home.  My mom made a great home for us, all by herself.  We were not broken.  We were survivors.  And I learned that I don't need a man to complete me by watching her.  I learned that I like myself and like my time with me.  That I have more to give in any relationship because I'm not co-dependent or needy.  I'm the person you can lean on.  I can take it.  I do have the only child syndrome that makes me want to be the center of attention, but that ends once I have your attention, or know how to get it.  :)  Like now.

I'm happier than I have been in a long time.  I have a job that allows me more freedom than I've ever experienced in the past and while I know I will have bad weeks, and good weeks, I like being my own boss, and setting my own schedule.  It's a requirement now for my extra curricular activities are, shall we say, very spontaneous.  Which I also find very exciting and fulfilling.  I'm having fun exploring all the opportunities out there romantically.  There certainly are a lot of fish in the sea.  And apparently, with some patience, all good things do come to those who wait.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.  And believe me, I have none.  I have learned to live with my choices and realize that I like who I am and they made me who I am.  As much as I wish I had a time machine to see how things might have been different with Mr. Hopeful or Mr. Practical, its curiosity after all.  They are still in my life and I know always will be in some way.  And that's good enough for me.  It has to be, right?

Life unfolds at its own pace.  Fate really has no control over you, nothing is predestined.  There is no grand plan.  So wake up everyday that you can, with a smile on your face, because you have been given another day to make your life what you envision.  To live your dreams.  Make them reality.  I take the opportunities given me.  Even if they seem sometimes to be the wrong choice, or the more difficult person to be with.  I like a challenge.  Always have.  And I've discovered that when a chance comes to me I am given that choice, maybe not for a 'reason' or a 'grand plan' but because my life happened to cross yours.  And if I don't take the chance I'll never know, will I?  And I'm too curious not to know.

So take the chance.  If it changes your life, let it.  No one said it would be easy, just worth it!  I KNOW I'm worth it.  I gamble that you are too.  :D