Sunday, September 16, 2012


They say "Life is a journey" and boy are they correct.  Lately, well over the last  couple of months I've been spending a lot more time with one of my distractions.  That Guy.  Spending time with him makes not spending time with Mr. Hopeful bearable.  I don't know why this is so, but it is.  And before you say, eww, and imagine all sorts of things that aren't going on, let me say the relationships are very, very different.  I don't bring my "A Game to toys and friends, only lovers.  I love Mr. Hopeful, and as hopefully romantic as this sounds, he is the greatest love of my life.  I want too much from him. I know this, or maybe I don't want too much, but maybe he's the wrong guy to want it from.  This intelligence does nothing for my heart and doesn't change a thing, it only makes me sad to realize that, once again, I have put my love and adoration into the wrong man's hands.  Into a man who either doesn't have the time, or doesn't make the time to express what he says he feels about me.  He tries, it just always seems to fall apart.  I bet a lot of you can relate to this kind of life style.  Too much going on, too many irons in the fire, and never enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them...there's a song in there somewhere, but i forget the title...old song about loving your kids...Bobby, help me with this?

This is such a confusion to me, because I almost always go for what I want and damn the consequences.  Selfish?  Perhaps.  But it's my life, and as long as no one is getting hurt, why should I care what anyone else may think?  I'm not here to judge you and you aren't here to judge me.  


If that offends you, stop reading my blog now.  I'll give you time to unfriend, unsubscribe, uncola, whatever you have to do.





Where was I?  I can't remember.  All I see is his face, his smile...All I hear is his voice, his desires...It's still enough to see just how much he cares about us.  And every time I'm about ready to believe it's over, he proves me wrong.  Every time.  If that's not a connection, I don't know what one is.

Good morning. :)