Sunday, December 16, 2012

Every Little Thing She (He) Does Is Magic we have come to this song on the playlist, and this one is kind of important, because it is why I am with them.  It is a mutual feeling, that I'm certain of.  Hence the pronoun playing game in the title.  I know I'm and addiction to them as much as they are to me, and it's a gaming reference as well, for those of you that are geeks out there.

I find that this playlist is still very relevant to me.  I had originally made it with one person in mind, Mr. H.  And as I was exploring my feelings I realized I can't talk about how I feel about him without touching on how I feel about Mr. C as well.  And well, it became for them both.  I have a feeling that will be the case for as long as I feel this 'In Tune' with them both.  I fell for my own ploy.  I'm always saying, "Never say never..." to them, and I now find myself in a position that I swore I would never be in again.  In love with two men at the same time.  It's not all magic, but for me, for the most part, when I'm with them it is.  Magic.

I suppose that's the biggest reason they make me smile and my days seem brighter when we have a moment to say hello, and that we are missing each other, daily.  And let me go on record in saying that this is exactly what occurs.  Sometimes our conversations are very brief, but they mean more than the lengthy conversations we have with others.  They are memorable.  Not just because of their content, but because they are magic.  They are a like a healing, comfortable place we can run to, and know that whatever shit has befallen us that day, a smile and kind word from us means more than anything else.  Is more comforting and confidence building than anything from anyone else.

Its magic.  And it works.  Even when plans change, like today with Mr. C, less time than we normally would have wanted, but still making it work.  Or when Mr. H uncharacteristically off lines me, just to let me know he was thinking about me.  I love that romantic shit.  I'm a girl deep down inside, no matter how much I try to pretend to be an equal in a man's world.  I know I am not, and I know I can be more magic if I understand that sometimes 'losing' to a man, is, in the long run, 'winning'.  I was recently reminded by Mr. C that, that is a fact that most women don't understand, but that I do.  I love it when my idea is the same as theirs...that too is Magic.  And happens more than we probably know.  It really is too bad that we can't spend as much time together as we want.  But I like where we are, emotionally.  Somehow, we make this work, the three of us...just sharing our lives and trying to find some happiness in a cruel and unfair world.  And finding each other in that world...well that's the biggest Magic.