Sunday, April 28, 2013

Why Worry - Dire Straits

""Baby, when I get down I turn to you 
And you make sense of what I do 
I know it isn't hard to say 
But, baby, just when this world seems mean and cold 
Our love comes shining red and gold 
And all the rest is by the way 

Why worry? 
There should be laughter after pain 
There should be sunshine after rain 
These things have always been the same 
So why worry now? 
Why worry now?"

I understand these lyrics.  I really do.  I've had men say them to me for years.  "Don't worry, I'll worry enough for both of us."  Or "No surrogate worrying!"  and the ever popular, "Worrying will never change the outcome so why worry?"  

Why worry?
Because you can.  You have a brain.
And you can think of the several outcomes that Fate can throw at you.  And to not plan for the possibilities is tempting Fate.  And we all know how bad that can be.  However, some things just can't be planned for, or controlled.  This fact of life has always been hard for me.  I can't control the actions of other people.  Damn them for having as much free will as me!  Damn them for not being controlled in my universe!  Damn them for living their lives as they see fit instead of the way I want them to!  (heavy sarcasm there, for those of you that need that kind of thing explained).  This thought process of everything connected, like the typical female brain, can drive you insane.  Especially if you are a man and not use to it.  

Men think differently.  Its a fact.  They can think about a problem and solve it, or solve it for now, and file it away in a neat little box in their brain.  Then they can come back to it when it is necessary...when someone or something prompts opening that box again.  They don't worry as much as women either.  The reason is because women don't file things away separately.  Everything is connected so every problem is connected to some other issue that may be another problem all by itself.  But because everything is connected our brains are more like a buzzing hive of activity.  Always thinking, always worried about the 'what if'....and men...well they will jump off  that 'what if' bridge if it ever comes.  

This doesn't mean that some women can't be spontaneous as men. (I know I worry like a woman, but I am spontaneous like a man....or like Scarlet O'Hara...."Oh fiddle-de-de, I'll worry about that tomorrow.")  Or that some men worry about everything, but it's usually very serious stuff that makes a man worry.  Where a woman can truly worry about things that seem small to a man, but in fact are huge when connected to the big picture.

I find it all very fascinating since I'm very worried.  Yep.  You guessed it.  About a lot of things. :D  But for today, at least, I will try to put them aside and enjoy my plans for the day and evening.  If I'm successful my blog next week will be about fun stuff.  Not stuff I'm worried about.  

Like this weeks should have been about two friends of mine getting married last night.  If you are long term readers of my blog you may remember a Weinerfest marriage proposal with a video on You-Tube with me and the future bride and groom (B and A...'initials only please') and Pat McCurdy...yeah...well that wedding happened yesterday.  And it was beautiful.  And it made me worry a bit about my future with the man I'm in love with now.  Not because I doubt what I feel, but because I will probably never believe that anyone can love me as much as I love them. Or as much as I witnessed last night.  Don't get me wrong.  I believe in love and am a hopeless romantic.  I'm just always amazed when I receive it. When it's honest and open and sure.  Like what my friends have.   

Here's hoping that I can learn that worry does not change the outcome.  Sounds a lot like faith.  Not good with faith.  I asked Mr. Practical about faith the other day.  About how he has faith that his wife loves him, and he said,"It's not faith so much as confidence in the proof of her actions toward me".  Wow.  I can get behind that idea much more than, "have faith in our love".  See I've had faith in love before and it bit me on the ass.  And not in a good way.  So I think I'll have faith in the proof of what I'm shown.  From everyone in my life.  Maybe that's the secret to being treated well.