Sunday, January 31, 2016 January?

Poverty sucks.

That's pretty much all that's on my mind.  Going to the bank soon and getting groceries and trying to figure out how to squeeze more into my savings account than I already am is a challenge.  But I'll do it.  I always figure out a way to get everyone paid.  It's just that this year, I don't think I'll honestly make it paying Uncle Sam all I owe him, in time.  And I hate the thought of owing back taxes.  Even if it's only few thousand dollars, I know it could be a lot worse.  So in the middle of all my worries about money, I try to look at what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for my kids and my friends that check on me and miss me enough to reach out and just tell me good morning and want to know what's going on with me.  Mr. Hopeful woke me up yesterday with a sweet message and we made plans to watch the Pro Bowl tonight.  Mr. Practical and I got three episodes of Dr. Who in last night before the TV GOD NETFLIX removes it from our title selections FOREVER.  Please reconsider....Netflix TV god....please renew the contract again for us.  I hope they are monitoring the ratings this last weekend and realize how much ratings they will lose when this title is gone.  She of Little Combat Boots and I found some time to catch up on her family and life.  And a bit on mine.  I left out sad goodbyes and only talked about financial worries.  I wanted our time to be about her and her life.  I miss her so much.  Poet In My Heart has been so busy with work, and trying to cope with illness and both of the common variety and not so common that she's been very tired and or too busy to chat much, but that doesn't matter any more than it does with any of my friends, or family, because I know how much I'm missed and loved.  And I know they know too.  I miss my kids so much.  I don't regret spending the money to see them at Christmas, and I'd do it again even owing taxes. Sometimes you have to put your life first. 

 Taxes.....I really hate them.  I know technically they are unconstitutional, but I still pay them.  Sometimes I wonder why.  I was so shocked to learn that I still owe so much after paying quarterly that I looked up the percentages myself to make sure my tax person wasn't making a mistake.  Which I guess I should have done last year, but trusted the program.  Somehow I overpaid state and will get a small refund which I may elect to just leave and they can use it toward next year.  The thought of owing back taxes scares the shit out of me.  Isn't this how homeless starts with some people?  I hope I have enough loved ones in my life that I would never be homeless.  I'm pretty sure I do.  But when you're scared, you think scary thoughts.

But enough of that.  After coffee it's to the bank, and pay my rent and loan and save....I'll have to find some grocery money in there somewhere, but I will eat.  Don't worry.  And if I don't, well I have enough extra body fat for a couple of months before I start losing weight.  Maybe that's all part of the grand plan to get me hot and gorgeous before my next romantic encounter.  I wonder who the lucky guy will be?  Maybe that's what I should write about next.