I'm very late posting my blog this Sunday, but I have a really good excuse. I joined a gym yesterday and this morning was my second day. I plan on working out Monday, Wednesday and Friday after work and Saturday and Sunday on my mornings off. With Tuesday and Thursday being my no gym days. I learned the machines yesterday and did 20 minutes of cardio. I know I should do 30 but this was my first day back at a gym since I worked at LHI or had my last membership with She of Little Combat Boots was getting into shape before boot camp. WOW. Now she's a Lt. Col of Little Combat Boots, and sadly for me is in much better shape than I am. But not for long. MAWHAHAHAHAHA. (Just kidding. I don't want her to have to kill me.) Anyway, she is one of my inspirations to getting back in shape. The other inspiration other than myself of course, which is always going to be first and have the first consideration, is Mr. Hopeful.
I know, right? I just turned back into that girl, that really wants him. But knows it's not a good idea. Drama didn't used to bother me much in romance when I was young. You might even say I was heartless a couple of times. Once with my second husband, Darth Vader, and the other time with Guezzo. Of course you can't always be the good guy, unfortunately most of us never really see where we are the bad guy. Especially if our hearts are in the right place, if we've convinced ourselves we are doing good. Even if others might scoff and argue well meaning and judgemental advise. The heart wants what the heart wants. Acceptance of that fact of human nature can completely erase jealousy, which is just competition and attachment, which we all know leads to the dark side. And I can't walk that path anymore. So I choose acceptance.
My heart wants so many things. And on rare moments I get my hearts fulfillment. Of course, I've come to believe that I'll never see in my lifetime the hearts desires I have for my planet, and its life. ALL it's life. But I pray and worship to the Goddess and cast when it feels necessary. I've always followed my own path and I finally don't feel guilty or wrong in that. I assume that's what fifty gives ya.
Off to Sunday brunch with my neighbor Ezzzmarelda without the Ezzz. Cheers