All passes - Art alone endures

What a fab time at the Chicago DeTours 1893 World's Fair Tour with Bars and Food tour.  I can't even begin to describe all the marble staircases and intricate metal work accent designs and the amazing architecture of the marble brick and mortar buildings of this era.  To get an opportunity to not only see the insides of these buildings (well most, The Palmer House is so exclusive they don't allow tours) was a real gift.  I'm grateful to have been invited by my Neighbor Ez and her friend.

I posted the best of the pictures I took yesterday starting with The Congress Plaza Hotel, which was our first drink stop.  the crystal rectangular chandeliers and mosaic tile work were breathtaking, but the metal work clock stole the show.  They even had a popcorn maker from the time, which was a new gourmet treat in 1893.

We then walked to the Roosevelt University with its huge marble columns and marble and iron staircases fit for Scarlet Ohara to descend, well I was swept away to a time that I now wish I could have seen.  How impressive to be standing in such history and see a building built with only marble and mortar, not steel supports, still not only standing but seem much more able to stand forever than some of the modern buildings that grace our skyline.  

It was at the Fine Art building next where we saw the phrase All Passes - ART Alone Endure over the entrance, and that statement proved true.  Not only with all the huge hallways all in, you guessed it marble, and the beautiful paintings and interior architecture, but the only human working elevator left in downtown Chicago.  All twelve of us barely fit into the elevator and the operator carefully watched the floors go by and had to guess at where the floor would meet the elevator.  So while the ride itself was very quiet and smooth, the stop was a bit jumpy as he made his selection.  While this skill was obviously learned from experience he made it look a lot easier than I'm sure it was.  The view from the 10th floor was beautiful.  We could see from Navy Pier to the planetarium.   

We then walked by a small alley, which reminded me of Diagon alley in HP,  that people used to claim survived the great Chicago fire, however, that information is not correct.  It is called Pickwick Place and what once was a mutton shop with an apartment for the owner above it is now a coffee shop.  I must go back there when it's open. 

We then arrived at Berghoff Bar, which in its day was a workingman's rowdy bar, with no women allowed until 1960, when Gloria Steinem went in and refused to leave until served.  Yay Women's movement. We all sat down and had a 1893 Worlds fair type meal with beer flight or wine and a brought worst with german potato salad and a strange new creation for that time, chili con carne.  They also have the number one, so first, liquor license in the city of Chicago which they kept during prohibition by selling root beer.  The painting and stained glass were lovely there along with the woodwork.  Dark heavy wood everywhere, I felt like it could have been a bar in any D&D story I had played. 

The Palmer House was next and I wish we could have seen it.  But they don't allow tours, so the mystery of one of the most exclusive hotels in Chicago will have to wait. 

The next stop I'd actually been in before, the Target downtown which is their flag store is set in a beautiful pillared building and iron and wood worked revolving doors which target of course has kept in all it's 1893 glory.  Good for them. 

The final stop was at the Chicago Atheltic Associaton where I have also been before for a birthday party in The Game Room, which in 1893 was called the Emerald battle.  For the green felt on the pool tables.  There are still pool tables in the game room but it's been updated of course with more modern games as well.  The woodwork again here was dark and the lightings original fixtures cast a luminance that both warmed and secluded.  For meetings both business or forbidden, with secluded corners and several bars and restaurants including some of the hottest stops in Chicago right now, with lines that we didn't really want to stand in.  So once our tour officially ended, my friends took me on an after tour, tour.  And we sampled tapas and more martinis at Mercat near the Blackstone.  I even was passed a free drink card from a passerby which will force me to go back. Oh darn!  Oh I almost forgot that my team won the most points in the scavenger hunts we did throughout the tour and our price was hand rolled candy from Whimsical Candy company, and it was yummy.

My personal facebook page has pictures posted if you are curious to see some of these beautiful Chicago landmarks from before 1893.  Enjoy

Cheers 





  t

Wake Up America! Revolution Now!

This has been a difficult week for humans in America.  Especially if you have an opinion about what has been happening to black America and our police force.  Now I'm not generalizing, but it's happening in so many places that I'm forgetting the cities and the names of the victims.  This is a form of shock.  And I think no matter what your opinion you might be able to agree that you are in shock or at least surprised at what's been happening.  How out of fear we are attacking each other and bringing about a possible martial law from our government. 

Now I'm not one of those that wants guns taken away.  I don't think that's possible or safe.  Criminals will always find a way to get what we don't want them to have.  I'd like to see them more regulated but so would a lot of gun owners.  So having a gun to protect your home is your constitutional right.  Or is it?  Wasn't that amendment created for a militia?  Oh and didn't they carry muskets back then, not automatic weapons?  I was interested in the amount of people that had guns on them during the sniper attack of the policemen in Dallas, and not one of them (20) tried to stop what was going on.  But wasn't that a huge argument over having concealed carry?  That we could step in and protect the innocent or attacked?  However I've always suspected that most citizens only want a gun in their home, to protect from theft or attack in their homes.   That none of the concealed carry people would really ever interfere once the police were on the scene for fear of doing the wrong thing and being charged with a crime.  If this is the case then why do we need to be armed in public as citizens?  Having 20 innocent civilians running to get away from the sniper and the sniper, who do the police chase?  Who is guilty?  Who is among the snipers possible helpers?  Could it look like there were 21 snipers to the police?  Dallas could have been even more tragic if the police had been twitchy that day. 

And that's another thing.  Our police are getting twitchy.  And they were before Dallas.  This will just make it worse.  I understand that the sniper was upset, we all are.  But violence like this is not the answer.  White people need to step up for our black brothers and sisters and we need to be more outraged than they are.  We need to be vocal.  We need to stop our friends and family from answering All Lives Matter after Black Lives Matter.  Because that's not the point is it?  Of course all lives matter.  What we need to make our judicial system and police system understand is that EVERYONE deserves the privileged that white America gets when stopped by the police, or at a hearing judged by our peers.  Its stressful enough to be in that situation without having to worry that you might die or be sent to jail for most of your life for a crime that a white person gets 6 months (3 months with good behavior). 

It doesn't stop with those rights and privileges.  There are many more inequalities among black, brown, female, gay groups that rich white men with power are undermining.   And we as a nation need to wake up and realize they are trying to turn us against each other.  If they can play upon old fears from before the civil war, or during the 1960's civil rights movement, then they have won.  If they can get us to fight each other then we won't notice the martial law descend or be able to stop our rights being stripped away from us.  The Constitution was written by our forefathers to protect us from a government that could happen in the future.  A government like the one we have grown into now.  I'm afraid for my fellow Americans.  America used to be the place people ran to for freedom.  I wonder where we can run.....

Cheers

Gym Time

I'm very late posting my blog this Sunday, but I have a really good excuse.  I joined a gym yesterday and this morning was my second day.  I plan on working out Monday, Wednesday and Friday after work and Saturday and Sunday on my mornings off.  With Tuesday and Thursday being my no gym days.  I learned the machines yesterday and did 20 minutes of cardio.  I know I should do 30 but this was my first day back at a gym since I worked at LHI or had my last membership with She of Little Combat Boots was getting into shape before boot camp.  WOW.  Now she's a Lt. Col of Little Combat Boots, and sadly for me is in much better shape than I am.  But not for long.  MAWHAHAHAHAHA.  (Just kidding.  I don't want her to have to kill me.)  Anyway, she is one of my inspirations to getting back in shape.  The other inspiration other than myself of course, which is always going to be first and have the first consideration, is Mr. Hopeful. 

I know, right?  I just turned back into that girl, that really wants him.  But knows it's not a good idea.  Drama didn't used to bother me much in romance when I was young.  You might even say I was heartless a couple of times.  Once with my second husband, Darth Vader, and the other time with Guezzo.  Of course you can't always be the good guy, unfortunately most of us never really see where we are the bad guy.  Especially if our hearts are in the right place, if we've convinced ourselves we are doing good.  Even if others might scoff and argue well meaning and judgemental advise.  The heart wants what the heart wants.  Acceptance of that fact of human nature can completely erase jealousy, which is just competition and attachment, which  we all know leads to the dark side.  And I can't walk that path anymore.  So I choose acceptance.

My heart wants so many things.  And on rare moments I get my hearts fulfillment.  Of course, I've come to believe that I'll never see in my lifetime the hearts desires I have for my planet, and its life.  ALL it's life.  But I pray and worship to the Goddess and cast when it feels necessary.  I've always followed my own path and I finally don't feel guilty or wrong in that.  I assume that's what fifty gives ya. 

Off to Sunday brunch with my neighbor Ezzzmarelda without the Ezzz.  Cheers
 

PRIDE In Yourself

It's Pride in Chicago, and while I'm a straight supporter, I'm also a crowd adversary.  So while I'm with you all in spirit I'm not going out in the hot to parade around in tight while sexy and appealing to my nature, clothes.  I am going to venture forth for necessary supplies and then retire back into my internest for gaming and video and other distractions to keep my mind from wondering.  (cue Beatles)

(If anyone needs a last minute rainbow umbrella just hit me up)

My hope is that this years Pride celebrations go on without anything tragic happening.  After Orlando I'm scared for everyone.  And while I adore that Pride has become a celebration of unity among a community of like minded people.  It's not where we started.  Pride started with the AIDS quilt, with solidarity, with a screaming need to be recognized and helped by the medical community before it was too late.  With a gay lives matter, before it was popular to be gay, before it was safe to be gay, wait a minute...is it now?  I can't believe we're still arguing about this?  That for thirty years I've watched my gay friends, and relatives die too young.  Or have to fight for basic human rights, you know like in the Bill of Rights, that all humans get, Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.  Oh...wait, its all men are created equal...hum....well we're still working on that fourty years later...wait...that's ninty-six years. 

I keep getting into arguments with men on Facebook who end up calling me names and cursing at me just for my opinion.  I say men because the women don't do this to me.  If our opinions differ we just stop talking about that topic and move on.  But every man that disagrees with me starts calling me feminist, like that's a bad word.  Or saying 'fuckin' in front of almost every adjetive and adverb, or instead of, to express their differing opinon back.  And here I thought we were just exchanging ideas.  Like I see men do on line together, and when they disagree they say their mind and then get scarastic not demeaning.  They say things about my intelligence or demenor.  Or my appearance, like that has anything to do with anything.  And jumping to indredibly steriotyped and incorrect conclusions about who I really am because of an opinon I might share, in part, with a large group of people.  I find that very unfair, and can relate with some of my gay friends.  Some of the largest violet crimes against humans are to women and the LGBTQ community.  So they get it when I talk about, as a woman being trained at a very young age to be afraid of men, and why?  That certain people will want to hurt me because of my gender alone, or how I'm dressed, or by refusing their attentions.  It's a hard life.

But see, it doesn't have to be.   We can all just try to be a little be nicer to each other, and try even a small bit of understanding.  Instead of being angry with us for fighting for our rights, fight with us.  Instead of being angry at us for finally having the courage to stand up and say, yes I want Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness too, be proud of us for trying and help us achieve it.  Be a feminist.  Support a woman's rights to be treated human.  Be a straight supporter.  Support the LGBTQ's rights to be treated human. 

Cheers

Appearances Are Always Deceiving

"It may not be the way it looks, but sometimes that's all anyone can see" Nicky Nichols-Orange Is The New Black.
How true and how sad a statement that fits into anyone's life at almost any time.  For me, this seems to be a reoccurring theme. My life will never appear to strangers and even friends the way it really is.  For most of you, you would see my life as some kind of lonely self-imposed exile.  Perhaps because of the hurt I've caused in the past or perhaps because of the hurt that has been done to me.  Gun shy works both ways if you can still feel.  And apparently, on a good day, I do.  Most of you will never see it as me being happy alone and exactly where I want to be.  You superimpose your ideas of happiness onto my life and if it doesn't measure up I must be sad.  Appearances.

How many of you feel like on paper you just don't look as experienced as you are?  Or that that same piece of paper makes you appear like a job hopper rather than a victim of the job shrinking economy?  That no one looks at all of your experience as invaluable free knowledge, over and above what the position calls for.   

Or that your relationship from the outside looking in is quite different than what happens behind closed doors?  Your family pictures displayed traditionally in matching frames and matching outfits, only mask the fact that you have enough time alone to create the perfect room.  Your Sunday best outfits that you wear to church disguise a prideful heart or painful bruises.  The fast cars, latest tech gadgets and most current fashions flaunt a fat wallet, or do they point to a fat credit card debt?  

White privileged children in the park are only playing while children of color are a gang?

An unescorted woman is going to meet her husband/boyfriend/girlfriend(s), but is treated like fair game to publically ask to "smile baby" or to follow her down the street and say much more explicit things regarding her wardrobe or body type worse to try to 'compliment' or shame her.  Or leer at until she feels uncomfortable enough to take your picture or call the police?  While an escorted woman is left alone.  Ask yourself would you say these things to her if she were your daughter, wife or mother?

Two men (or women) alone, talking or sharing a meal, must be gay?

A homeless person is a bum and a loser, rather than a person living from paycheck to paycheck and the paychecks stopped?  Or an ignored Vet who gave everything for your freedom? Or an abandoned wife and mother with nowhere else to go?

A bully on the playground is a child that has not had enough discipline and the child that is bullied is a wimp or are they verbally and/or physically abused at home?  One acting out in anger and other self-preservation habits from that physical or verbal abuse called 'love'.

Tolerance, respect, inclusion, basic manners, patience, understanding, putting yourself in others shoes, love...these are all emotions and frames of mind that I find grossly lacking in my fellow humans. 

We need to start treating each other the way we want to be treated.  I believe some religions call this The Golden Rule, and that seems like as good a name as any.  It's a very simple thing to do, but so few even try.  As a writer, I watch people every day, and the automatic judgement I see in their eyes frightens me for the future of humanity.  We are all guilty of this, and we need to question our first reactions to people, our first impressions or appearances.  I'm not saying that you need to alter who you are or who you want to present yourself as.  I'm suggesting the opposite.  For if everyone took a moment in time to just think of an alternative to their first judgement call on an individual, we might all be nicer and safer out there.   

Cheers

Where To Explore In Chicago?

I'm feeling a need to explore my city, but I hate crowds.  As much as I love to see the sites I wish there was a day or a time where I could walk about without having to see or be pushed around by so many people.  Of course, it adds an element to the view, depending on your height, (both physically and in elevation) that is also entertaining.  And I do enjoy people watching as long as it's not too evasive.  I think I'm missing nature the most and wish I had a place to sneak away for a weekend.  A tiny cabin or house somewhere in the woods of Wisconsin or Colorado or Washington.

I know I haven't explored as much as most would in a new city, so there is still a lot I haven't seen and experienced.  Mostly the tourist trap stuff, like the sky deck and 360 Chicago, the 606 elevated park, or water tours or bus tours.  I have seen a few plays, and concerts and tried to support the arts with that and museums.  And being a nanny I've seen the zoo and children's museums countless times.  I've shopped in stores I can't afford, and shook my head at the prices while clerks that make about the same as I do judge my shoes and waistline.  Sometimes I feel like Pretty Woman in the scene where she has the cash and can't get waited on.  Truth is I could afford some things, if I thought it was worth the price.  But I wont spend my money in a place where I'm dismissed before approached.  But for the most part most places I've visited I'm treated like an old friend, so I spend my money there and know they appreciate my business.  Local stores in my neighborhood rather than the miracle mile of greedy business.  In fact the only time I really enjoy seeing the miracle mile is at Christmas time when the city is all dressed up.

Somewhere between Friday and Saturday my allergies have decided to wake up.  At least that's what I hope this is.  I took what I thought was going to be a cat nap yesterday and slept for three hours.  And today I have all the symptoms of a summer cold.  Well better this weekend with no plans. I was going to do chores (laundry/cleaning) and errands (bank/bills) today as it's suppose to be a lot cooler and less pollution but it may all have to wait until after work tomorrow.  Getting to work is more important next week as both parents are traveling for work, her on Monday-Tuesday and him Wednesday-Thursday and I may have to stay a little later.  Allergy meds are calling my name, and I must answer and rest, so if you're one of my Chicago readers feel free to comment with ideas for places or sites for me to visit this summer. 

Cheers

When The Need Outweighs The Excuses

I'm having one of those days where I want to write, but I want to write on a project that I'm waiting for feedback on.  I could write on one of a couple of different projects I have going, but as usual, on my day off, I'm just not feeling it.  I should be more disciplined in my writing, but not being a professional, I really consider it a hobby.  Not exactly a relaxing one, but a cathartic one, in my case.  Like most writers, I tend to use personal experiences for the characters in my writing.  Sometimes they are based on me, sometimes on others I know, sometimes composite of many people I know.   Sometimes my own stories as is, or embellished for drama or humor, sometimes stories that are purely fiction.  But always the finished product is a mixture of the two.  I suppose that's why it's much easier for me to have other writers that aren't that close to me read my work than people that might find themselves hidden within the pages.  Or not so hidden depending on the healing I'm writing through.

I don't know if all writers get some of their angst or trama out in their writing, it's almost horrifying to imagine that authors like King, or Poe or Lovecraft or Shelly were writing about their own personal demons, but  knowing about some of their short lives, it could be.  King is winning, I'd say, if that's the case.  And perhaps it's what keeps writers sane.  That ability to get it out on the page, rather than have it cluttering up their minds.  Maybe that's why it takes me so long to actually get in the mood to write, but once I start I'm fast at getting it down.  Unlike a professional writer, I write for myself.  I guess you could say I'm my target audience. 

And while that is freeing, as I only have myself to please, it's also crippling, becuase I only have myself to please.  How do I know if it's really any good?  How do I know if it could help others as it's helped me?  My guess is to release it to trusted editors for opinoins.  And then, if brave enough, releasing to the world.  Now that's a very scary prospect to me, because I'm never sure if the world wants to hear my thoughts.  Equally I'm not sure they deserve to.  I don't write to 'become famous' or 'be heard'  I hear myself just fine.  Sometimes I hear too much.  And that's when it must get written.  Those are the times many of you have heard me say, 'I need to write because the characters in my talking too much.'  But that usually happens only when the need outweighs the excuses and distractions.  I've been known to hide out in my studio for an entire vacation just to get a play written and formatted.  I've also been known to be distracted by my electronic life for entire weekend.  Many, many times.  Technology has replaced personal relationships for me and I have dove into it with the same love and attention I would give a partner. 

You might think that's sad, those of you that frequent the outdoors or believe I should.  But unless I'm camping or in a very beautful natural surrounding, I find outside in the city to be just a transistion from one indoor duty to another.  Like my comute from home to work and back again is spent reading on the train. Not looking at the man made nature.  I miss grass beneath my bare toes, and bon fires with friends.  I miss mountain air and looking at an endless view from treeline atop Pikes Peak.  I miss the ocean crashing on the rocky shores of the pacific northwest.  I miss the hikking trails of Hixon Park in Wisconsin.  And long drives just looking at stars or the moon as it sped to keep up with the car.  City parks just aren't the same.  Perhaps its the stark absense of any wild life.  The animals aren't fooled either.  So I try to surround myself with cut flowers and some hardy plants, and although they always seem to die on me.  I just don't have a very green thumb.  And no space for any type of garden.  Thankfully Chicago rests on the shores of Lake Michigan, the third largest great lake and the beaches are bigger and nicer than you'd imagine.  The lake is so large it has tides and of course you can't see the opposite shores.  This feeds my need for nature when I need it, but I admit I don't go as often as I should.  Again...it's the crowds of people I don't miss on my days off.  But soon I'll get there again this year, perhaps more than any year before.  For the water is the element that I need the most to feel balanced.  I have always been happier when living next to water.  Weather a lake or river or ocean.  But it is necessary to my wellbeing.  I'm almost motivated to go today....except it's very gray and rainy looking....not the best day for the beach.  And there is laundry to do....and dishes to wash...and more excuses that outweigh the needs.  Perhaps in two or three weeks I'll make it down again.  Perhaps by then I'll be wanting an adventure. 

Cheers